RSS
Chat
FAQ
Thunder's Profile
I would have to say it is a toss up between these two:
Chuck Norris doesn't read. He just stares at a book until it gives him the information he needs.
There is no theory of evolution. Only a list of animals that Chuck Norris allows to live.
Oh the list is endless.
What is your favorite Chuck Norris fact?
Moderators: Mr. Crackerz, JREED, Guybrush, hobbes
17 posts
• Page 1 of 2 • 1, 2
 All Star
Posts: 1266
Joined: Wed Apr 27, 2005 7:50 pm Location: Alameda Poster Credit: 0 |
 Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 4:16 pm
|
 All Star
Posts: 3086
Joined: Fri Jul 21, 2006 9:51 pm Location: Redwood City, CA Poster Credit: 0 |
Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 5:28 pm
Too old, dude.
|
 Hall of Famer
Posts: 18461
Joined: Sat Oct 08, 2005 4:48 am Location: Somewhere in this site... Poster Credit: -3 |
Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 4:24 am
What's next?. A David Hasselhoff thread? 
|
 Hall of Famer
Posts: 12978
Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2005 10:03 pm Location: Golden State Poster Credit: 41 |
Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 9:20 am
One time, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy in the face so hard that his foot broke the sound barrier, went back in time, and killed Amelia Areheart flying over the Pacific.
 GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS DIE HARD   |
Hall of Famer
Posts: 18461
Joined: Sat Oct 08, 2005 4:48 am Location: Somewhere in this site... Poster Credit: -3 |
Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 10:21 am
Chuck Norris sucks... Jack Bauer is the man.
|
Hall of Famer
Posts: 12978
Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2005 10:03 pm Location: Golden State Poster Credit: 41 |
Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 1:08 pm
Some kids can piss their names into snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
If you spell Chuck Norris' name wrong on Google, it doesn't say, "Did you mean 'Chuck Norris'?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have a chance." Chuck Norris died 10 years ago... but the Grim Reaper can't get up enough courage to tell him. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin. GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS DIE HARD |
Hall of Famer
Posts: 18461
Joined: Sat Oct 08, 2005 4:48 am Location: Somewhere in this site... Poster Credit: -3 |
Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 1:39 pm
Jack Bauer never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.
Kim Bauer was an accident. Not even the pill can stop Jack Bauer. If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus. When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help. |
Hall of Famer
Posts: 12978
Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2005 10:03 pm Location: Golden State Poster Credit: 41 |
Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 7:02 pm
Chuck Norris can make egg salad with nunchucks.
Chuck Norris once ate a 60 ounce steak in 30 minutes... and spent the first 27 banging the waitress. And Chuck wasn't even hungry. Chuck Norris took a leak off the Golden Gate Bridge and said, "Hmmm... this water's cold. Deep, too." Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did. Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure. GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS DIE HARD |
 Hall of Famer
Posts: 20888
Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2005 7:50 am Location: Perth Poster Credit: 21 |
Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 11:34 pm
Well fukin Bruce Lee kills all those muthafukas and he's dead!
  migya make the ring fall on ya |
Hall of Famer
Posts: 18461
Joined: Sat Oct 08, 2005 4:48 am Location: Somewhere in this site... Poster Credit: -3 |
Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 3:35 am
If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg. When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction. Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys. Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves. |
All Star
Posts: 1266
Joined: Wed Apr 27, 2005 7:50 pm Location: Alameda Poster Credit: 0 |
Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 11:14 am
Chuck Norris' calander goes from March 31st to April 2nd. Nobody fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was originally cast in the series 24 but was replaced by the producers after he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 9 minutes and 34 seconds. Chuck Norris was once on celebrity Wheel of Fortune and spun first. The rest of the show was everybody standing around awkwardly waiting for the wheel to stop. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. |
Hall of Famer
Posts: 18461
Joined: Sat Oct 08, 2005 4:48 am Location: Somewhere in this site... Poster Credit: -3 |
Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 11:31 am
Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal. Jack Bauer wasn't born, he was unleashed. When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back. |
|
Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 1:51 pm
when little boys go to bed, they wear superman pajamas. when superman goes to bed, he wears chuck norris pajamas.
Go Colts!!!!!!! Superbowl Champs!!!!!!!
|
|
 All Star
Posts: 3042
Joined: Thu Mar 09, 2006 5:42 pm Poster Credit: 0 |
Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 2:33 pm
Chuck Norris gave acting lessons to Schwarzenneger, Steven Seagal and Carrot Top...
To Live is A Value Judgment - Albert Camus
3 reasons for living: Jazz, Hoops and women President Barack Hussein Obama - America chose Hope over Fear   |
Rookie
Posts: 19
Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2007 5:01 pm Location: North Bay Area-707 Poster Credit: 0 |
Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 5:07 pm
hahaha
W A R R I O R S 13 years and waiting..FINALLY WE'RE IN THE PLAYOFFS LEEEETS GOOOOO |
17 posts
• Page 1 of 2 • 1, 2
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests
The team
Delete all board cookies• All times are UTC - 8 hours [ DST ]Powered by phpBB© 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group