MOVIE REVIEWS

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2006 9:37 am
Josh Jamison wrote:New reviews have just been posted on http://www.pastamafia.com.

- Nacho Libre (movies)


Is it as retarded as it sounds?. I say that 'cos, according to the review, it's a two jalapeños movie, but the text of the review looks more like a 0 jalapeños, sluts or whatever we use to rate.
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2006 9:56 am
0 is a Monty! :)
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2006 10:24 am
TMC wrote:
Josh Jamison wrote:New reviews have just been posted on http://www.pastamafia.com.

- Nacho Libre (movies)


Is it as retarded as it sounds?. I say that 'cos, according to the review, it's a two jalapeños movie, but the text of the review looks more like a 0 jalapeños, sluts or whatever we use to rate.


It actually made me laugh a few times so it can't be 0 jalapeños. If a movie's gonna get a 0 there has to be nothing good about it. 2 jalapeños is less then average anyway.
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2006 11:33 am
Yeah. I'm quite the opposite. If a comedy only makes me chuckle a couple of times, then it gets a deserved Monty (0 jalapeños in your rating).

In fact, for me, a comedy needs something more than just mindless jokes in it to work. A supporting story with some point or something...
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2006 2:36 pm
Josh Jamison wrote:New reviews have just been posted on http://www.pastamafia.com.

- Bronco Billy's Pizza Palace (restaurants)
- Sneakers Pub & Grill (restaurants, hot spots)
- Jollibee (restaurants, cold spots)
- Nacho Libre (movies)

Check 'em out!


Jollibee! Hah, I love that place. It's a real restaurant. Gotta go there when I hit up the Phillipines again.
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2006 11:02 pm
Great reviews guys! Be good to see some funny ones about movies you just fukin hated! :mrgreen:
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 12:50 am
BIMBO BOWLERS FROM BUFFALO - Starring Buck Adams, Fifi Bardot, Tom Byron, Keisha, Victoria Paris and Randy West
Year - 1989


Ah yes......... a good porn movie late at night when you get home drunk and pretty tired (or after scragging some drunken bich :mrgreen: ) really hits the spot!

This is a porn flick I watched some hundred times from the age of 17 to 19! I really liked the funny scenes with the dirty bastard janitor Fred!

The plot is about three dirty biches who are professional bowlers (bet they never bowled in their fukin lives) and who travel to other U.S. cities to take on other trio bowling teams (of other sex crazed sluts). They are currently in another city (forget which one) to take on the "Muffs", haha, that's the name of the other team of three whores! :mrgreen: One of the three biches goes to the other team's locker room and gets into an "all eat pusssy" entangle with one of the other team's members and they eat eachother like dogs! The janitor, a cunnt crazed kok called Fred, watches through a hole in the wall. He ends up being joined by the hot looking slut that is the barmaid. He ends up fuking her silly (as you do) and then the manager comes in, catches them in the act and sends Fred off to do some cleaning and then proceeds to fuk the same bich himself - Pornos just don't have limits :mrgreen: Meanwhile, the hottest bich of the threesome (the blond one), gets fuked by the manager just afte he finishes with the cute barmaid (always wished I was him in that movie). Th other two work over Fred's nob in the back where the bowling pins are replaced if needed. Fred slams those two whores and blows on them deservedly! The barmaid ends up taking the reporter who follows there bowling performances around the U.S. and he promptly does her over with the old, eat, get sucked and fuk her well routine! The guy behind the bar gets in on the act by slamming the blonde one of the threesome when she complains about not reaching the big O with the manager, so he gives her the 8 inches until she cums like a torn milk carton!

Movie ends with the three bowling girls getting their trophies for a job well done and winning the comp. Well done girls - Sluts :mrgreen:


Can say I was entertained many a late night in my late high school, early uni youth!





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Last edited by migya on Tue Nov 07, 2006 12:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 3:41 am
migya wrote:BIMBO BOWLERS FROM BUFFALO - Starring Buck Adams, Fifi Bardot, Tom Byron, Keisha, Victoria Paris and Randy West
Year - 1989


Ah yes......... a good porn movie late at night when you get home drunk and pretty tired (or after scragging some drunken bich :mrgreen: ) really hits the spot!

This is a porn flick I watched some hundred times from the age of 17 to 19! I really liked the funny scenes with the dirty bastard janitor Fred!

The plot is about three dirty biches who are professional bowlers (bet they never bowled in their fukin lives) and who travel to other U.S. cities to take on other trio bowling teams (of other sex crazed sluts). They are currently in another city (forget which one) to take on the "Muffs", haha, that's the name of the other team of three whores! :mrgreen: One of the three biches goes to the other team's locker room and gets into an "all eat *****" entangle with one of the other team's members and they eat eachother like dogs! The janitor, a cunnt crazed kok called Fred, watches through a hole in the wall. He ends up being joined by the hot looking slut that is the barmaid. He ends up fuking her silly (as you do) and then the manager comes in, catches them in the act and sends Fred off to do some cleaning and then proceeds to fuk the same bich himself - Pornos just don't have limits :mrgreen: Meanwhile, the hottest bich of the threesome (the blond one), gets fuked by the manager just afte he finishes with the cute barmaid (always wished I was him in that movie). Th other two work over Fred's nob in the back where the bowling pins are replaced if needed. Fred slams those two whores and blows on them deservedly! The barmaid ends up taking the reporter who follows there bowling performances around the U.S. and he promptly does her over with the old, eat, get sucked and fuk her well routine! The guy behind the bar gets in on the act by slamming the blonde one of the threesome when she complains about not reaching the big O with the manager, so he gives her the 8 inches until she cums like a torn milk carton!

Movie ends with the three bowling girls getting their trophies for a job well done and winning the comp. Well done girls - Sluts :mrgreen:


Can say I was entertained many a late night in my late high school, early uni youth!


:shock:

::lol: ::lol: ::lol:

I've never been too fond of bowling... till now. :mrgreen:
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:49 pm
ROCKY 5 - Starring Sylvestor Stallone
Year - 1990


Didn't like this movie at all!

Why the fuk did they make this movie?! Stallone must really have been hit in the head alot in Rocky 4 by the big fukin Russian because this one was a mistake! I've got tons of respect and admiration for the rocky films but it should have ended with Rocky 4 and they have just finished Rocky 6 would you believe!!!! Let it go Sly, be happy with what you did when you were not an old man!

Movie is about Rocky going from riches to rags as his wife's dumbarse brother Pauly blows Rocky's money and they all go poor! Rocky ends up helping out this other white wanna be fighter caled Tommy Gun and Tommy, the ungrateful twat, hooks up with a famous promoter and turns on Rocky. Rocky ends up smashing him in a street fight at the end of the movie showing that Rocky still is the man!

Nowhere near as interesting and exciting as the first four movies!!!! LET IT GO STALLONE!!!!





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PostPosted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 2:56 am
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy - Starring... somebody
Year - 2005


For those who haven't heard about it, this movie is about a regular guy that gets "sucked" out of the planet at the last second before some aliens demolish the whole planet Earth to make way for an interplanetary highway... and he has to start living anew from that point, with no place to call home.

In case you haven't noticed, it's a comedy, folks. :wink:

About the movie (This is going to be fast): Read the damned book(s) first. The book(s) is(are) great, the movie is not. If, after reading them, you still want to watch it, then do it. But don't waste you time going just for the movie. It would seem like a mindless piece of sh*t.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 6:10 am
Yea I've seen that movie and it is pretty lame! Have seen worse though
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 6:45 am
migya wrote:Yea I've seen that movie and it is pretty lame! Have seen worse though


Yeah, I did it the wrong way. First the movie and later the books... and the movie looks terrible that way. Still looks bad after reading the books, so go figure...
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 8:32 am
JUDGE DREDD - Starring Sylvester Stallone
Year - 1995



FUKIN SHIIT!!!! Sly should've done better than take part in such horse crap!

This movie is sickening! Sickening that a so called great actor who has done great films could be stupid enough to take part in such nadless garbage that makes the charity groups cries of "give the money to the poor" seem so right! What a waste of fukin money!!!!

Sly plays a cop/judge in a future time where crime is quite prevelant but the control of society is quite fascist. He gets setup to fall and is taken to a prison cave outside the enclosed city where the rest of society lives. Only real bad criminals get the treatment he gets so he is quite pissed off indead! The hero obviously escapes and comes back to kick the fuk out of the cunnts that fuked him and wins! SO WHAT! The movie is awful - Special effects, acting, plot, you name it, it was a disgrace!

Dumb arse Stallone! You should have known better than that!



No mercy from me - Just to horrible of a movie!



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PostPosted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 8:47 am
Pretty weak movie, but no movie with a catfight gets less than 1 slut from me. :mrgreen:
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 3:22 pm
A special delivery for xBayAreaWarriorx and migya (as you already have the DVD).


LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN- Starring... the f*cker formerly known as Josh Harnett
Year - 2006


(I'll try not to spoil the plot) Due to a case of mistaken identity, Harnett's characters finds himself in the middle of a war between two rival mob bosses who live one in front of the other (so to say). Things get sour from there...

This is a really good movie, with a witty script, a more than decent story, and an excellent cast (Bruce Wilis, Morgan Freeman, Ben Kingsley, Lucy Liu...). It has only one big flaw. The main character is played by Josh Harnett, who is as expressive as my fist can be. That guy can't act.

Other than that, this movie is F-U-N. Not a classic, but really entertaining, and one of the few (good) noir movies done lately.

Go watch it NOW!

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