I would like to see if we can collectively come up with the best quotes ever made by professional athletes. Please give the quote along with the author and the situation (if necessary). I'll get this party started.

1) "I feel like I'm fading into bolivian". --Mike Tyson explaining his status in life.

2) "I am going to turn this team around 360 degrees." --Jason Kidd describing the impact he was going to have on the NJ Nets.

I every time I think/hear/read about these quotes I chuckle like a mutha#%$^&@.[/i]

"We make a lot of money, but we spend a lot of money"

-- Patrick Ewing during the last NBA lockout

More recently...

"They're not doing anything for me. I've got a lot at risk here. I've got my family to feed." - Sprewell (making 14.5mil) complaining that the Twolves haven't extended his contract.

I find anything that comes out of Van Exel's mouth a bit of a laugh!

"Caaaaaan youuuuuu digggggg iiiiittt"

From one of the dumbest looking people.

"It's a war out there every night trying to make the playoffs"

Tyronne lue when asked about the war in iraq

Oh man, I'm not even gonna post the Yogi Berra ones 'cause you probably know them. Well, maybe I'll post them some day, but for now, some other funny ones:

"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
- Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst

"Bruce Sutter has been around for awhile and he's pretty old. He's thirty-five years old. That will give you some idea of how old he is."
- Ron Fairley, Giants' broadcaster

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
- Danny Ozark, Phillies manager

"We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads."
- Vlade Divac, NBA basketball player

"Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean."
- Basepall Player Pedro Guerrero on reporters

The funniest quotes I ever hear usually come from baseball. Basketball is pobably second but they get a big bonus because Shaq does interviews all the time. Either way the funniest quote I ever heard was Tommy Lasorda "Mike Scoscia is so slow that if he raced his pregnant wife around the bases he would finish third."

Here's my favorite SHAQ quote:

"There is no answer to the Pythagorean theorem. Well, there is an answer, but by the time you figure it out, I got 40 points, 10 rebounds, and then we're planning for the parade"

And then Michael Vick:

"I've got two weapons -- my legs, my arm, and my brains"

"You can't play sweet, if you don't look sweet"
Clinton Portis

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs I went to."

- Shaquille O'Neal when asked if he went to the Parthenon during his visit to Greece

"I know the Virginia players are smart because you need a 1500 SAT to get in. I have to drop bread crumbs to get our players to and from class"

- George Raveling, Washington State basketball coach

RobDIKUM wrote:"It's a war out there every night trying to make the playoffs"

Tyronne lue when asked about the war in iraq

That has to be the funniest quote ive ever heard