What is your favorite Chuck Norris fact?

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 4:16 pm
I would have to say it is a toss up between these two:

Chuck Norris doesn't read. He just stares at a book until it gives him the information he needs.

There is no theory of evolution. Only a list of animals that Chuck Norris allows to live.


Oh the list is endless.
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 5:28 pm
Too old, dude.
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 4:24 am
:shock:

::lol:


What's next?. A David Hasselhoff thread? :mrgreen:
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 9:20 am
One time, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy in the face so hard that his foot broke the sound barrier, went back in time, and killed Amelia Areheart flying over the Pacific.
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 10:21 am
32 wrote:One time, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy in the face so hard that his foot broke the sound barrier, went back in time, and killed Amelia Areheart flying over the Pacific.


Chuck Norris sucks... Jack Bauer is the man.

The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 1:08 pm
Some kids can piss their names into snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

If you spell Chuck Norris' name wrong on Google, it doesn't say, "Did you mean 'Chuck Norris'?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have a chance."

Chuck Norris died 10 years ago... but the Grim Reaper can't get up enough courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 1:39 pm
Jack Bauer never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

Kim Bauer was an accident. Not even the pill can stop Jack Bauer.

If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 7:02 pm
Chuck Norris can make egg salad with nunchucks.

Chuck Norris once ate a 60 ounce steak in 30 minutes... and spent the first 27 banging the waitress. And Chuck wasn't even hungry.

Chuck Norris took a leak off the Golden Gate Bridge and said, "Hmmm... this water's cold. Deep, too."

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 11:34 pm
Well fukin Bruce Lee kills all those muthafukas and he's dead!
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migya make the ring fall on ya
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 3:35 am
If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.

Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.

When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 11:14 am
Chuck Norris' calander goes from March 31st to April 2nd. Nobody fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was originally cast in the series 24 but was replaced by the producers after he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 9 minutes and 34 seconds.

Chuck Norris was once on celebrity Wheel of Fortune and spun first. The rest of the show was everybody standing around awkwardly waiting for the wheel to stop.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 11:31 am
Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal.

Jack Bauer wasn't born, he was unleashed.

When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 1:51 pm
when little boys go to bed, they wear superman pajamas. when superman goes to bed, he wears chuck norris pajamas.
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 2:33 pm
Chuck Norris gave acting lessons to Schwarzenneger, Steven Seagal and Carrot Top...
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 5:07 pm
hahaha
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