Warriors vs Clippers:The lowdown

Talk about any other sports here.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 4:56 pm
Last edited by is1531 on Tue Jan 16, 2007 5:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 10:19 pm
Dude, since you're obviously trying to feed a crowd of Warrior fans with what appears to be rough drafts for your sportswriting class, here are a few tips:

- Stop referring to them as "The Warriors" every single time. To keep readers interested, you can't keep using the same words. "Golden State" or "the home team" would have been fresh, normal changes every now and then.

- Make sure your statistics have a point. Don't just toss them in there randomly.

- In a related comment; make sure you don't pummel the readers with numbers. All I'm looking at in your first paragraph is "12-12", "The Warriors", "10 minutes of the 4th", "The Warriors", "108-93 scoring 50", "The Warriors", "11 foul...", "The Warriors"... catch my drift? Every single paragraph is like that.

- Have a theme or an underlying purpose to each article. There's no sense in making a paragraph version of the box score. That's why amatuer sports writers should stick to writing about their school team or something; you don't have any direct quotes, you aren't relating anything to a previous encounter or a specific trend, there's no basic theme that your paper keeps coming back to, and you aren't saying anything we don't already know. Your articles don't seem to have a point.

- On top of that, your articles are dry. There's no hook, there's no catchy/witty revelations bourne out of the game, and you don't really conclude anything. From a writing perspective, these articles are chokingly dry. Look up fellow board member "pineriver". He's a fine example of how to make sports articles interesting from a fan's perspective.

Take this friendly advice into consideration and elevate your game, young homie.
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 12:52 am
I don't see anything wrong with these threads and it all just looks liek an attempt to make conversation. Let's give this guy a go
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 3:58 am
If it's just an attemp to start conversation, then it's ok (although, as they don't add anything new other than a recap of the game, I can't see why we can't have this converstion on the game thread).

If it's indeed an article (sort of), follow #32's tips. It's an extremely boring read for an article. You have to add something else, so people want to keep reading.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 5:57 am
#32 wrote:Dude, since you're obviously trying to feed a crowd of Warrior fans with what appears to be rough drafts for your sportswriting class, here are a few tips:

- Stop referring to them as "The Warriors" every single time. To keep readers interested, you can't keep using the same words. "Golden State" or "the home team" would have been fresh, normal changes every now and then.

- Make sure your statistics have a point. Don't just toss them in there randomly.

- In a related comment; make sure you don't pummel the readers with numbers. All I'm looking at in your first paragraph is "12-12", "The Warriors", "10 minutes of the 4th", "The Warriors", "108-93 scoring 50", "The Warriors", "11 foul...", "The Warriors"... catch my drift? Every single paragraph is like that.

- Have a theme or an underlying purpose to each article. There's no sense in making a paragraph version of the box score. That's why amatuer sports writers should stick to writing about their school team or something; you don't have any direct quotes, you aren't relating anything to a previous encounter or a specific trend, there's no basic theme that your paper keeps coming back to, and you aren't saying anything we don't already know. Your articles don't seem to have a point.

- On top of that, your articles are dry. There's no hook, there's no catchy/witty revelations bourne out of the game, and you don't really conclude anything. From a writing perspective, these articles are chokingly dry. Look up fellow board member "pineriver". He's a fine example of how to make sports articles interesting from a fan's perspective.

Take this friendly advice into consideration and elevate your game, young homie.
Your a piece of garbage.Your obviously a young guy with a big mouth.I qam 54 years old and have followed basketball since 1962.I do not need people like you telling me what is right or wrong.Go get a real job,you punk.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 6:01 am
TMC wrote:If it's just an attemp to start conversation, then it's ok (although, as they don't add anything new other than a recap of the game, I can't see why we can't have this converstion on the game thread).

If it's indeed an article (sort of), follow #32's tips. It's an extremely boring read for an article. You have to add something else, so people want to keep reading.


You guys are like foreigners.I quit your ice cold website.You guys have no manners.All you guys do is make wise cracks.Just cut me from the website.Now I see why nobody comes here.Just a bunch of punks and loud mouths.

I am following basketball since 1962,so I do not need silly advice from punks on this website.Do not write back.I just quit.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:38 am
I'm gonna write back lol, I stopped reading after about the second paragraph because i just thought you were writing the box score in paragraph form. If you can't learn to take criticism I don't see the point of even trying
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:49 am
is1531 wrote:
TMC wrote:If it's just an attemp to start conversation, then it's ok (although, as they don't add anything new other than a recap of the game, I can't see why we can't have this converstion on the game thread).

If it's indeed an article (sort of), follow #32's tips. It's an extremely boring read for an article. You have to add something else, so people want to keep reading.


You guys are like foreigners.I quit your ice cold website.You guys have no manners.All you guys do is make wise cracks.Just cut me from the website.Now I see why nobody comes here.Just a bunch of punks and loud mouths.

I am following basketball since 1962,so I do not need silly advice from punks on this website.Do not write back.I just quit.

no, no - please don't quit. PLEASE, PLEASE!!! Your trenchant reportage and well-turned analyses are the only things that have raised this godforsaken board up from the smartass punk gutter in which we have all wallowed these godforsaken years. More, I say, more, and MORE DETAIL while you are at it. I for one, thank you...signed, a humble punk and loud mouth :cry: Image
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 12:03 pm
Hey, this thread looks like it's going to be a good one... at least on comedy value. :mrgreen:
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 12:24 pm
you guys are is just a bunch of foureingers.Don't you young punks no anything about speling and gramar.Iam was basketball fan since 1492 A.D!Me and C-Columbus know how to take rack the ball to the hole.I'm 52 years old but use spel check like Im 54!Thats howadvanced my writting skills is.



Anyone smell a ps2huang situation here?


But seriously, nothing sickens me more than someone trying to bust out "you're a foreigner" on someone as an insult, especially when they have the writing skills of a chimp. All I can picture is some xenophobic, gun-toting redneck who is in love with Chevrolet's awful "This is our Country" ads. Aggh. Those ads epitomize everything that is wrong with America.

What's worse is that #32 had very poignant pieces of advice for someone who CLEARLY was trying to use the forum as a test ground for their "budding" beat writer career.. If you're going to use the forum to do so it's all good, but be prepared for critique and don't cry like a baby when someone points out your extremely flawed writing style. Just learn from it.
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 3:08 pm
is1531 wrote:Your a piece of garbage.Your obviously a young guy with a big mouth.I qam 54 years old and have followed basketball since 1962.I do not need people like you telling me what is right or wrong.Go get a real job,you punk.

54 years old and you still don't know how to properly use the word "you're"? :scratch:

:| Your basic idea is pretty correct; I am a young guy and I do have a big mouth. Those insults support your next claim (about being 54 years old) because nobody born after 1960 gives a **** about being called "a punk". The opening of the post is decently coherent and serves as a fair/average beginning to what could possibly be an onslaught of insults.

But your follow-up is not nearly as strong. When trying to claim senority over somebody, one of the reoccuring points to this stradegy is to claim that you are smarter than them. This is not accomplished when you write barely a fifth the amount that I have and commit 3-4 times the amount of spelling, gramatical, and punctuational errors. For your sake, we'll dismiss these as "typo's" (this excuse only works one or two times, though, so don't get greedy). :oops:

Your go-home-line is also a bit out of place; telling me to "go get a real job". Since trying to explain the concept of "full-time student" to somebody who obviously didn't make it past 4th grade would be futile, I'll simply point out the paradox of your statement: you accuse ME of needing a job, yet you continually post talentless, dragging, page-long articles to fill up the empty time in your day. Sounds, to me, like I'm not the one who needs to get a job. :-s

Like I said last time, brush up on your skills before displaying a viewable piece in the public. Writing dry articles with no point is one thing, but when you try your hand at insulting somebody, you aren't any better. Is there anything you are good at, that you could possibly post here? Give yourself a good reputation and people will take you seriously.

Have a nice day. :thumbleft:
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 3:47 pm
#32 wrote:Those insults support your next claim (about being 54 years old) because nobody born after 1960 gives a **** about being called "a punk". The opening of the post is decently coherent and serves as a fair/average beginning to what could possibly be an onslaught of insults.


Get off my lawn #32! You young whipper-snappers have no respect for the word "Punk." You and that good-for-nothing rascal Elvis Presley are ruining America!

Honestly, I didn't think much about the use of the word "punk" when he wrote it initially but I'm glad you caught it. I think calling someone a "punk" guarentees you a membership to AARP.

But Grandpa Simpson here has to be a troll. Nobody would have a reaction like that to a simple critique of an unveiled attempt without wanting a confrontation about it.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 5:25 pm
#32 wrote:This is not accomplished when you write barely a fifth the amount that I have and commit 3-4 times the amount of spelling, gramatical, and punctuational errors.


:)
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 5:34 pm
#32 wrote:
is1531 wrote:Your a piece of garbage.Your obviously a young guy with a big mouth.I qam 54 years old and have followed basketball since 1962.I do not need people like you telling me what is right or wrong.Go get a real job,you punk.

54 years old and you still don't know how to properly use the word "you're"? :scratch:

:| Your basic idea is pretty correct; I am a young guy and I do have a big mouth. Those insults support your next claim (about being 54 years old) because nobody born after 1960 gives a **** about being called "a punk". The opening of the post is decently coherent and serves as a fair/average beginning to what could possibly be an onslaught of insults.

But your follow-up is not nearly as strong. When trying to claim senority over somebody, one of the reoccuring points to this stradegy is to claim that you are smarter than them. This is not accomplished when you write barely a fifth the amount that I have and commit 3-4 times the amount of spelling, gramatical, and punctuational errors. For your sake, we'll dismiss these as "typo's" (this excuse only works one or two times, though, so don't get greedy). :oops:

Your go-home-line is also a bit out of place; telling me to "go get a real job". Since trying to explain the concept of "full-time student" to somebody who obviously didn't make it past 4th grade would be futile, I'll simply point out the paradox of your statement: you accuse ME of needing a job, yet you continually post talentless, dragging, page-long articles to fill up the empty time in your day. Sounds, to me, like I'm not the one who needs to get a job. :-s

Like I said last time, brush up on your skills before displaying a viewable piece in the public. Writing dry articles with no point is one thing, but when you try your hand at insulting somebody, you aren't any better. Is there anything you are good at, that you could possibly post here? Give yourself a good reputation and people will take you seriously.

Have a nice day. :thumbleft:

only one way to respond to that. In good old fashioned 21st century style:
Lol dat n00b got pwn3d ur teh h4xx0rz rofl :roll: 8) :mrgreen: :bday: :agrue: :) :D

I don't think the guy (I'm too lazy to go back a page and check his name) was a troll, just a weirdo who thought of this site as his blog.
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 4:47 am
It may be a bit late, but I've found a great tool to help writing articles:


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:mrgreen:
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